hey everyone and welcome to psycho tips today we're going to learn about thirteen signs you're dealing with a narcissist let's begin

Number 1 Heroes Syndrome :

Narcissists love to tell stories, think about it when you tell a story everybody's paying attention to you, and if you say it well you'll have your audience eating out of the palm of your hand, so it's no surprise that narcissists can make some of the best storytellers, but no matter what kind of story they're telling narcissists have what I like to call hero syndrome.

They always make themselves the hero of every story it could be a happy story about finding a lost dog or a tragic story about a sick relative it doesn't matter narcissists always paint the same picture of themselves they're consistently winning they're never in the wrong and if anything bad happens they're still the victims so don't let a good story fool you if you know someone who's never been the bad guy they might be a narcissist.


Number 2 Stretching The Truth :

Back in 1938, a famous psychologist named H Amery discovered the first scale for human narcissism.

First, he identified two essential parts of a narcissists personality everybody knows they're self-absorbed they exploit other people and crave attention, but there's something else narcissists are also incredibly sensitive they can't stand criticism it makes them feel worthless and small narcissism comes from this unique combination of anxiety and self-absorption.

That's why narcissists do things like stretching the truth they emphasize their importance to get attention and avoid criticism they're worried about feeling inferior they're scared of losing their power, so they do everything they can to exaggerate their accomplishments.

For example, if a narcissist tries to run a marathon, they'll lie and say they won the whole thing as long as they get a chance to stand out narcissists will exaggerate anything they need to


Number 3 Social Reclusiveness :

Sixty years after Murray's discovery two researchers noticed a problem it turns out his scale only works for one kind of narcissist you see Murray was right when he said there are two main parts of a narcissistic personality they're self-absorbed on the outside while anxious on the inside, but this divide goes even deeper.

Psychologists realized that there are two completely different kinds of narcissism the first is called overt or grandiose narcissism they're the obnoxious, self-centered narcissists that you're probably thinking of These people you'll find stretching the truth and chasing the spotlight.

The second kind does precisely the opposite they're called coverts or vulnerable narcissists, now while their counterparts adore the attention, vulnerable narcissists can't stand it many of them hide from society as a whole they're uncomfortable with socializing because they think everything revolves around them but not in a right way.

They're convinced that everyone wants to shame or criticize them, so they panic whenever they're around other people so just because someone isn't aggressively looking for attention that doesn't mean they're not a narcissist.


Number 4 Deficits In Agreeableness :

So where do grandiose and vulnerable narcissists differ the most is personality.
 
Have you ever heard of the big five or the five-factor model? Well, every personality can be broken down into five categories:
 
  • openness
  • conscientiousness
  • extraversion
  • agreeableness
  • neuroticism

Now don't worry if you don't know what each category means we'll cover the important ones as we go using the big five a pair of recent studies figured out what traits distinguished narcissists from everybody else.

So what do you think they discovered your first guess might have something to do with extraversion it's true that most narcissists are introverts even though grandiose narcissists like being the center of attention they're always focused on themselves, but the most significant difference isn't extraversion it's agreeableness.

Grandiose narcissists have zero interest in getting along with others they're rarely helpful, and they hate making sacrifices instead they're super competitive, and they're always picking fights so unless they're in charge grandiose narcissists are a nightmare to deal with, so if you know someone who's still tricky they might be a narcissist.


Number 5 Taking Everything Personally :

Based on Murray's work another recent study designed a new questionnaire it's called the hypersensitivity narcissism scale.

The difference is this one is made specifically for vulnerable narcissists since vulnerable narcissism was discovered so much later, it hasn't received the same kind of recognition in the fact it was left out of several versions of the DSM that's the manual for mental disorders used by psychologists around the world.

This new scale changed everything it made it much easier to identify in research vulnerable narcissists and it's one main reason why so many more studies have come out in the last decade so how do you measure a vulnerable narcissist well a go-to sign is that they take everything personally every comment every gesture it all feels like a personal attack even if it has nothing to do with them, this is one of the most essential subjects on the hypersensitivity narcissism scale it asks questions like do you often interpret the remarks of others in a personal way if you strongly agree there's a good chance you have some narcissistic tendencies

Number 6 Going With Their Gut :

in the mind of a narcissist, no one is more reliable than themselves let's say you ask them a hard question instead of doing research or asking for help a narcissist will always go with their guts, and they'll insist that they're right it doesn't matter if you've got science on your side narcissists believe so strongly in themselves that they'll ignore anything that you throw at them.